Healing the Inner Child

 Can I be honest with you? A lot of the time, the part of us that hurts the most isn’t the grown-up version that pays bills, does homework, or shows up for everyone else. It’s the younger version of us, the little kid inside who still remembers what it felt like to be left out, to feel small, or to carry pain without having the words to explain it. 

Have you ever noticed how sometimes your reactions don’t quite match the situation? Like maybe someone doesn’t text you back and you feel this wave of panic, or a simple criticism makes you feel worthless? That’s often your inner child speaking up. It’s not silly. It’s not dramatic. It’s a sign that a younger part of you still needs care.

And here’s the thing: most of us never learned how to care for that younger version of ourselves. We just grew up, put on a strong face, and told ourselves to “get over it.” But the truth is, you can’t outgrow unmet needs. You have to go back and tend to them.

So what does that even look like? Honestly, it’s not as complicated as people make it sound. Healing your inner child is less about “fixing” and more about listening.

It could look like sitting quietly and asking yourself: What did I need back then that I didn’t get? Maybe it was comfort. Maybe it was encouragement. Maybe it was just someone to say, I see you, and you matter. And then, you give that to yourself now.

Let me give you an example. Imagine little you, maybe at eight or ten years old, sitting alone in their room feeling misunderstood. What would you want to say to them? Maybe something like: You don’t have to be perfect for people to love you. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re already enough. Now, imagine telling that to yourself today. Because the truth is, that little you never went away, they’re still part of you, still hoping for those words.

It might feel awkward at first. Talking to yourself, writing letters to your younger self, even looking at old photos, it can feel strange. But that’s the doorway to healing. It’s like building a bridge between who you were and who you are now.

Sometimes healing your inner child also means giving yourself permission to play. Think about it, kids heal through joy, curiosity, and creativity. Maybe that means painting with no rules, dancing in your room, or letting yourself laugh at something silly. That joy isn’t childish; it’s medicine.

And listen, this isn’t about erasing the past. You can’t go back and change what happened. But you can change how you carry it. You can remind your younger self, You weren’t broken. You were just a kid trying your best with what you had. And that reminder ripples forward, it makes the present version of you feel lighter, softer, freer. 

If you’re not sure where to start, here are a few gentle ways to connect with your inner child:

• Look at an old photo of yourself and speak kindness to that younger version.

• Write a letter beginning with, “I’m sorry you went through that, but I’m here for you now.”

• Do something fun and simple, color, listen to music you loved as a kid, eat a snack that brings back memories.

• Notice your triggers, the moments where you feel small, scared, or unworthy, and ask, What does my younger self need to hear right now?

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Healing your inner child isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a relationship you build with yourself. And over time, you’ll notice the difference, less harshness, more gentleness, more space to breathe.

So if you feel like a part of you is still carrying old wounds, know this: you don’t have to ignore that little voice anymore. You can sit with it, comfort it, and remind it that you’re not alone.

Because you’re not. You’ve grown. You’ve survived. And now, you get to be the safe place your younger self always needed.