When You Feel Like Your Parents Just Don’t Get You: A Mom’s Honest Take

Okay, so let’s talk real for a minute. Being a teenager today is wild. You’re trying to figure out who you are, where you fit in, what you want, and your parents? Sometimes, it honestly feels like they are from a different planet. I get it. As a mom, I see it all the time. You feel like your parents don’t understand you. They don’t get your vibe, your struggles, or even your small wins. And sometimes it feels like they just don’t listen or care the way you want them to. Let me tell you something though, this feeling is way more common than you think. You are definitely not alone.

Here’s the thing. Parents grew up in a totally different world. No TikTok, no constant texting, no viral challenges, no same kind of pressure from social media. So when your parents look at you and say things like “Why are you always on your phone?” or “Back in my day…” it can feel like they are shutting down what matters to you. It’s frustrating because you’re not just “on your phone” for no reason. You’re connecting with friends, expressing yourself, learning, and yeah, sometimes just zoning out to survive. That’s a reality your parents might not fully get yet.

And the way you communicate? It’s different too. Maybe you want to talk about what’s bothering you but all you get from your parents is lectures or “You’ll understand when you’re older.” Or maybe you don’t even try to open up because you feel like they won’t get it, so you just shut down and keep everything bottled up. It’s like this invisible wall that keeps growing between you and them. That wall is exhausting. It makes you feel alone even though your parents love you a million percent. They just don’t always know how to bridge that gap.

Parents want the best for you, seriously. They worry about your safety, your future, and the tough world you’re growing up in. Sometimes that worry comes out as rules or questions that feel like interrogation. When they ask “Who are you hanging out with?” or “Why did you do that?” it’s because they want to protect you. But I get how it can feel like they are policing your life instead of trusting you. Trust is a big deal, and it takes time. It also takes showing your parents that you can handle things even when you mess up. Spoiler alert: Everyone messes up.

Here’s a little secret from my side as a mom: We don’t always have the answers. We get scared. We want to fix things fast but forget that sometimes, the best thing to do is listen and just be there. That means a lot, even if we don’t say much. So if you ever feel like your parents don’t understand, try this: Find a calm moment and say, “Hey, can we just talk? I want to tell you what I’m going through.” It’s scary, I know. But it can be the start of breaking down that wall. And if they start lecturing, try to breathe and remind them you are trying to share, not argue.

Also, it helps if parents make an effort to understand your world. Watching a video you like, asking what your favorite app is about, or even listening to a song you love can show you they care. It’s not about being perfect parents. It’s about showing up and trying. And for you, knowing that your parents don’t get everything doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just have to learn how to meet you where you are. That takes time, patience, and sometimes a few tough conversations.

At the end of the day, the teenage years are hard for everyone. They are messy, confusing, full of ups and downs. But they are also a chance for you and your parents to grow together. When you both keep trying to understand each other, even when it feels impossible, you build a relationship that can handle anything. So hang in there. Keep speaking your truth. And remember, even when it feels like your parents don’t get you, they are probably trying in their own way.