“I’m Fine”: Why So Many Teens Pretend They're Okay (and What to Do About It)

Let’s talk about something a lot of us do without even thinking. You know that moment when someone asks how you're doing, and the automatic answer just slips out—“I’m fine”? Even when you’re not? Yeah. That one.

For so many teens, “I’m fine” has become more of a habit than an honest check-in. You might be completely overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, tired of keeping everything together, but you still show up, still smile, still act like it’s all under control. Sometimes it’s easier that way. It feels safer. But deep down, we know that pretending everything’s okay doesn’t actually make it better. It just makes it quieter, and lonelier.

A lot of us have learned, without anyone saying it directly, that showing our real emotions might make people uncomfortable. That if we admit we’re struggling, we’re being dramatic, weak, or “too much.” So we hold it in. We keep performing like everything’s fine, getting good grades, doing our part at home, showing up for friends, while privately feeling like we’re falling apart. And the scariest part? People often don’t notice. Because we’ve gotten really good at hiding it.

The thing is, mental health doesn’t always look like a breakdown. Sometimes it looks like overachieving. Sometimes it looks like making jokes all the time. Sometimes it’s just silence—distancing yourself, sleeping too much, zoning out. Just because you’re still functioning doesn’t mean you’re doing okay. And that’s important to say out loud.

So what can we do instead? You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight or tell your whole story to everyone you meet. But small steps count. Start by being honest with yourself. You don’t have to have the perfect words—just something as simple as “I haven’t been okay lately” can be a powerful thing to admit to yourself. Then, try to find one safe person you can talk to. That could be a friend, a sibling, a mentor, a therapist, even a listener on a support app. Just one person who won’t judge you for being real.

And while you’re at it, check in on your friends, too. Don’t just ask “how are you,” ask “how are you really?” You’d be surprised how many of us are silently going through the same thing, waiting for someone to notice.

One more thing: Your feelings are valid. You don’t need to “have it worse” to deserve support. You don’t need to wait until you hit your breaking point to ask for help. Struggling in silence doesn’t make you stronger, it just makes things heavier.

It’s okay to not be okay. Really. Say it again if you need to.

You deserve to rest, to be heard, and to feel better without having to prove anything first. Mental health isn’t about being perfect or always knowing what to do. It’s about showing up for yourself and others, even in small, messy ways.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “I’ve been holding a lot lately,”you’re not alone. Not even close.